We can trade our traits, and not our worst ones, with others. We can trade our traitors for better traders, or they can become better traders themselves. Let the market trade this way.
McFarlane Beau. If not, the ties that bind become constricting garrottes as creeping spinal flesh awaits a dagger's thrust. I think the topic of backstabbing bleeds over into other issue areas, such as undermining and pure destructiveness.
It involved an employee who accused another employee both under my supervision of making a racially offensive comment. Now that I have had a lot more history with both individuals, I could almost guarantee that the accuser was probably exaggerating the facts of the situation in an attempt to make the other employee look bad.
When I look at your three suggestions, I suppose the one that would have been the most help in this situation has to do with communication. The other characteristic I would note is that the backstabbers I most frequently deal with seem almost pathologically unwilling to actually communicate without an intermediary. I am in that situation in a social organization I belong to. Thanks for bring some real world stories to the discussion.
And thanks for adding your 4th tip. You made me think of another important idea. Critiques frequently overstate. Better to drain the drama and deal with verifiable behaviors and facts. Paula is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. Thank you for leaving an affirmative word and as you know, I appreciate it when others leave links to useful resources.
Alan is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. How do we deal with backstabbers? A leader at this level keeps 2 things in mind: the Mirror and the Window. When things go poorly, at Level 5, the leader uses the mirror to accept responsibility. When things go well, the Level 5 leader uses the window to look out at the team and praises them. Team members need to see how to use their mirror and window.
I want to be like that. They need the context of a positive culture around them. This will take some time and attention. But over time, the team will come to see that backstabbing is so counter-culture that they become self-regulating. It may be necessary to gather a few key team members to begin fleshing out some core competencies to begin the long journey of setting the right anti-backstabbing culture.
But in time, it will be well worth the effort. Backstabbing costs more in productivity than we will ever know. Fortunately, those seem to be few and far between. Good morning Dan and LF Community. Backstabbers are a unique bunch.
When one tries to analyze these folks one can only feel pity for them. They are mostly very insecure and unhappy individuals with very poor self esteem who feel compelled to catapult themselves on the back of others.
They have little to no resilience and when confronted shrivel into a world of excuses. In truth as noted above I personally have had very little success in helping these individuals since the great majority of them have significant underlying psychological problems and require professional help.
On occasion a few have had an inkling of self awareness and have undergone therapy with mixed results. Alas most can only be dealt with by distancing ourselves safely away either internally or externally. Al is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. I will expand a little on 2 of your points: Stay engaged and involved — if the backstabber is engaging in bcc on emails, do not respond at all. Invite all concerned to a meeting, as you also suggest. Backstabbers are cowards and will be at a disadvantage when you are calling the shots.
A little record keeping to prove the facts goes a long way when you are later shooting flim flam out of the sky. The length of responses above suggests that the post invokes strong feelings in those who have been stabbed! Thanks for a concise and thought provoking post. I would add that to stay cool in the midst of a backstabber requires inner depth. God invites us to tell Him exactly how we feel:. David probably had it worse than you or I ever will. He had enemies who truly wanted him dead.
I am going to trip. What faith does do is to take our problem to the One who really cares and can do something about it. O Sovereign Lord, my strong deliver, who shields my head in the day of battle-my strong deliver, do not grant the wicked their desires. David was not just asking some-god-out-there to do something for him. He was asking his God, the God with whom he was in covenant, the God to whom he belonged.
David had already seen God work on his behalf. You have shielded my head in the day of battle. I know that You will be there again. I can guess that there have been many of them. I am a semi-public figure in our little community and have been connected to various conflicts between people in my 15 years of pastoral ministry. I surely deserve some of the gossip shared about me.
Not that people should have shared bad news about me, but the truth is, some of the bad news was true. I am a sinner, and I have failed. I am profoundly thankful for that, and it helps me to be ready to take my challenges to the Lord the next time.
I have also had the same experience throughout my plus years in pastoral ministry. One of the desires of my heart is that each of you folks who just heard this message preached, and those who may read it later will be as blessed by it just as I have. Please let me know! This is a very good sermon with lots of helpful information. I know the more I defend God and His words in scripture the more I am hated by this world.
I also know God will never leave my side. As long as we defend scripture we can never lose the fight. Keep up the great work.
Be very careful of who you share your problem with, remember that not every friend that smile at you is your best friend. It is hard to deal with someone who smiles and pretends to like you to your face and sticks that eight inch blade in your back when you turn around.
Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back. This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you. Being betrayed is one of the most valuable lessons life can teach. Some people are willing to betray years of friendship just to get a little bit of the spotlight. Don't fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend that hugs you. Sweetie, if you're going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.
You got nothing to lose. Hot lyrics. O'Jays — Backstabbers Lyrics.The O'Jays - Backstabbers (Live) Lyrics. The O'jays Miscellaneous Back Stabbers BACK STABBERS THE O'JAYS (What they do!) (They smile in your face) All the time they want to take you.